The only one thing that you requested was for the garbage to be taken out. A little bit later you realize your partner failed to do it. “I Didn’t hear you”, they declare. Curious how that works, how your partner didn’t hear the one thing you asked them to do. This “selective hearing” is a common sign that communication is failing.
We have the tendency to think of selective hearing as a negative, sort of like it’s a character defect. It’s like you’re accusing someone of deliberately not listening. But it’s possible that the actual culprit behind your selective hearing might not be a short attention span, it might be the early phases of hearing loss.
What is selective hearing?
You’ve likely been accused of selective hearing at some time in your life, even if no one used that particular name. Selective hearing happens when you can clearly hear information that’s useful to you but conveniently miss the bit that’s negative. You hear the part about making a delicious meal but miss the part about cleaning up the dishes. Things like that.
As a behavior, selective hearing is incredibly common. However, most research points to men failing to hear their partners more often than women.
It may be tempting to make some assumptions about that (and the way that individuals are socialized certainly does play into how this behavior is contextualized). But hearing health is most likely another major aspect. If your “selective hearing” starts to become more common, it might be a clue that you may have undiagnosed hearing loss.
Hearing loss can produce gaps in communication
Undiagnosed hearing loss can indeed make communication a lot more challenging. You’re probably not surprised by that.
But here’s the thing: oftentimes, communication issues are a sign of hearing loss.
When hearing loss is in those really early stages, there won’t be a lot of obvious symptoms. Your tv might get a little louder. When go out to your local haunt, you have a difficult time hearing what people are saying. You probably just presume it’s because of the loud music. And so, besides that, you could go through the majority of your day-to-day life without even noticing the volume of the world around you. This lets your hearing slowly (but surely) diminish. You hardly notice the issue until you’re at the point where you regularly have trouble hearing conversations.
Your hearing health is concerning your partner
You will notice some of the people in your life are starting to worry. Your friends and family will probably be annoyed when they think you’re deliberately ignoring what they say. But as it turns out more and more often, aggravation may turn to worry.
And your partner may want you to find out what’s going on by having you schedule a hearing test.
Your partner’s concern is relevant and it’s important for you to recognize that. Have an open discussion and consider that they are coming from a place of caring and not just aggravation.
Other early indications of hearing loss
If your selective hearing has become worse over time, it may be worth watching out for some of these other early signs of hearing loss. A few of those signs include:
- Needing to ask others to speak up or slow down
- Cranking up the volume on your mobile phone, television, or radio
- People sound distant or muted when they talk
- Having a hard time distinguishing consonants
- Difficulty hearing in crowds
If you have any of these symptoms, it’s worth calling us and getting a hearing test.
Always safeguard your hearing
Protecting your hearing is so essential to preventing hearing loss. If you can’t stay away from overly loud noise, be certain that you use hearing protection, like muffs or plugs. Hearing aids can also help you have more effective communication, which can smooth over many rough patches that your hearing loss may have caused in the first place.
A diminishing attention span will be to blame for the majority of selective hearing incidents in your life. But when you (or somebody around you) notices your selective hearing becoming worse, you may want to take that as a sign that it’s time to get your hearing tested.
